I’m sitting on the floor in the master suite of my almost empty home. A few possessions have lingered here in this space….an errant sock, a box of towels, a menagerie of hangers. The contents of both the silverware drawer and the junk drawer are neatly packed and awaiting their shuttle to my new apartment from the kitchen counter top. Most of my dirty laundry is still hanging out in the hamper of the master closet and all of my cleaning supplies are sitting on the shelf above where the washer and dryer used to reside–some will move to my new home with me, some will be used to make this lovely home even more lovely for it’s new occupants. And, my wifi router for service that has yet to be transferred to my new home is powering my computer and phone for one last time.
In a spirit of full disclosure, I have to say that I’m on the brink of tears. I have both loved and hated this home. As with the last home, I’m leaving behind features lovingly installed by people I love. In the last home it was the laminate floor that my brothers and dad spent a 3-day weekend installing.
In this home it is the rounded quartz edges of my counter tops and the granite hearth and surround for my fireplace.
I will miss my sweet neighbors, my church congregation, and the amenities of this place. Most of all, I can’t help but think that this is the last place I will ever live that Mom visited…and that makes me sad.
I’m taking action that I hope will take my life in the direction that I want it to go–that will make me a more likely candidate for the role that I want to play in life and the person I want to be. It hasn’t been easy and there is a part of me that feels like a huge failure. I know that a lot of the people in my life don’t really understand why I’m selling my house and moving to a rental for the near future. They think I’m taking a huge step backward. On some levels, I would have to agree with them. But its not permanent. It is a temporary solution that will allow me to get some momentum on goals that have been evading me for far too long.
Stay tuned and see how thing unfold.